What's Love Got to Do With It?

NOTE: This is a message for my single brothers and sisters. God gave me this message before I was married, and I was reading back through it, I felt lead to share it with you.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

The True Meaning of Love in Ordained Relationships

Lord, is he the one? When will it be my turn? God, you said that it is not good for a man to be alone. I’ve been faithful to you, Father. You said that if I’d seek first the kingdom of God, all other things would be added. Then, you’d reward me by granting the desires of my heart.

As a single Christian woman, I often find myself having these sort of conversations with God. Sitting under the instruction of the Word along with the society in which we live, it is almost impossible to believe that anyone wants to be alone. Atop of this obvious obstacle, there lies a grand ordeal set before every single Christian – do I settle for what I want, or do I wait to see what God gives me?

The problem that tends to bombard church-going singles is that of impatience. Within our spirits, we know that God must choose, but when He doesn’t move within our rendition of a reasonable time frame, we become anxious and decide to ‘help’ Him by searching for our own mates and using the standards of the world to do so. Such actions result from our failure to remember that “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” (Psalm 118:8). One of my favorite evangelists is the Bishop Noel Jones. While preaching at a Bishop T.D. Jakes Singles’ Conference, he drew a conclusion on the subject by stating something like the following:

God already knows what we need, and he knows what ‘turns us on.’ That’s why Adam was asleep when God made Eve. When he woke up, he was pleased. God already knew what Adam desired. God works the same way now as he did then.

Prophetess Juanita Bynum touched on the same subject while in the same conference and added the following:

Our problem is that we tend to choose what we want NOW. What turns us on NOW. That’s why God has to choose. He will provide someone who can accommodate where you’re going, so that five years down the road, you won’t be saying, ”Well, we just grew apart...”

With these preliminary thoughts on the table, the subject of love, which is (or should be) the foundation of all relationships, should be studied and analyzed from God’s point of view. Perhaps after this is done, we will be able to determine what characteristics and priorities are important to God as opposed to those that are important to the flesh.

It’s obvious that born-again believers are not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers” 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). After all, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed” (Amos 3:3)? Though the principle is well known, it is not sufficiently understood. We are supposed to love everyone with the love of God, so why is our Father concerned about those we are bound with? After all, if he loves me...

In order to address this issue, one must “rightly divide the Word of truth” by defining love as it appears in the eyes of God. Consider the following passage from 1 John 4: 7, 8:

“...for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

According to John, God is exclusively and inclusively the concept and being of love. In other words, He is the very definition of love. So, in order to act in or express true love, one must know something about it, which means that one must know, or have a relationship with our heavenly Father. This conclusion is deductively simple to accept, but John takes the subject a step further by pointing out that anyone who loves “is born of God, and knoweth God.” In essence, the Bible states that no one is able to love unless he knows God. How do we know when a person loves God? They follow His commandments. They seek His face and hear His voice. In doing so, the person receives the favor, or grace of God which leads to salvation. So, that unsaved lady or gentleman who sends flowers and writes lovely poetry cannot truthfully state feelings of love for a child of God if they are not living for Christ. “Be not deceived. Evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Corinthians 15:33). From this we may plainly state our first conclusion – No man can love unless he knows God.

The second premise we should explore is the fact that love, in a sense, is relative. In other words, the love we have for someone else relates directly to the love we have for ourselves, which is dependent on the love we have for God. Any Christian who has walked with God for a reasonable period of time realizes that we are saved by grace. Salvation is not a concept that can be earned or bought into reality. Based on that fact, children of God resume to “dying daily” which is a silent acknowledgment that Christ in us is the only reason for living. Without Him, we are simply a walking pile of sinful dung, worthy of no reward. With that said, it is safe to assume that we are able to love and take pride in ourselves only if there is a stable qualification or rationalism in doing so. In this case, that prerequisite is filled in knowing that we are children of God. Once we have developed a love for God, and therefore a love for ourselves, we are able to love others. Jesus proclaimed that one of the greatest commandments is to “love others as you love yourselves.” Well, it’s obvious that we must first love ourselves in order to love others at the same level or with the same quality. Now we have more than sufficient proof to accept a second concept – One must have love for him or herself before having the ability to effectively love someone else.

Since we have determined the definition of love and the means by which it is accomplished, we must now tackle the qualities of love. Before delving into the issue, we must first acknowledge the most difficult aspect to grasp for most Christians – Love is not earned. It is ordained.

It has been determined that God is the author and finisher of love in and of itself. The only question left to be addressed is His method in demonstrating His being. Romans 5:8 states that “God shows His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” While this is a straight-forward scripture, a much deeper meaning lies within. Fundamentally, this passage expresses that God did not love us based on our qualifications or our good deeds. “While we were yet sinners” He loved us and sent His Son. While we were worth nothing, disobedient and dirty, He still loved us beyond belief. 1 John 4:10 states that we didn’t even return His love, yet He continued to express it toward us. In other words, God loved us because we are His creation. He loved us for our ordained purpose rather than our practical purpose. Consider the following situations...

You’re walking down a crowded street and see an old lady pushing a shopping cart full of old blankets and paper bags. You can tell that she is homeless and you say to yourself, “What a shame. I would never let my own mother suffer as she is suffering.” The old lady hears the words you’ve muttered and asks, “Why don’t you just take me home and love my as you love your mother?”

You have a friend whom you have know for a number of years. You have just secured a new job and find yourself living very well above your means. This good friend decides that he or she would like to pursue a college education, but does not have the finances to do so. Willing to help your friend, you call the perspective university and you’re told that only parents may sponsor students at their institution. Well, since you are a Christian and cannot lie to help your friend, he turns and asks, “why don’t you just make me your child? Then everything will work out.”

These scenarios seem strange and unlikely, but they do demonstrate a strong point. No one can direct love haphazardly or manually. It is developed and divinely directed. We love our mothers (natural or adoptive) as mothers because God put them in that place. “He sets the solitary in families.” We run across women everyday who may be prettier, more intelligent or wealthier than our own mothers, but these factors do not cause or allow us to redirect the ‘instinctive’ feelings we have already established. Though time enables us to acquire ‘developmental’ love in some cases, there is a depth that cannot be reached unless God ordains it to be so. True love cannot be earned or bought. Lust, infatuation and flattery are easily influenced, but love in eternal and constant. After all, our God still loves us. This is a mystery all together.

Finally, 1 Corinthians 13 outlines a host of characteristics demonstrated by true love. Love is patient and kind. It’s not jealous or envious. Love is not proud, nor is it rude. It’s forgiving and not easily angered. Love rejoices in truth and despises evil. It protects. It trusts. It perseveres.

How many people have uttered those three magic words, but failed to pray and fast by your side in the time of need? How many have been jealous of your accomplishments and assets? How often were they stubborn about mistakes you’ve made while always wanting your blessing in their own lives? How many times were you asked or forced into making sacrifices to fulfill their happiness? Even more importantly, how many ‘loves’ have experienced such events after you’ve proclaimed your love to them?

In conclusion, the Body of Christ, whether married or single must understand that we have been called to a sanctified life. Our bodies must be presented as a living sacrifice, which means that we belong to God NOW. Therefore, we cannot allow ourselves to be boggled down through relationships with those who are lost. In addition, we must leave ordination up to God. We must show the love of God to all, but only our Father knows where to strategically place the people in our lives. God knows, sanctifies and ordains us before we are formed in our mother’s wombs (Jeremiah 1:5). Callings are placed on our lives and gifts in our Spirit before we are conceived. Surely, he is able to divinely position mates, who ultimately act as lifetime partners in the ministries we are called to serve. After all, ministry is the foremost purpose of marriage. God’s benefit should be our primary concern when choosing a mate rather than our own desires of the flesh. “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16). Perhaps we should all learn a lesson from Adam in respect to this issue. Just do what you know to do and go to sleep. When you wake up from all that praying, fasting and trusting God, there will be someone waiting who was specially ordained, specifically designed, fearfully and wonderfully made just for you!

He Must Needs Go Through!

Many times we attempt to hide our past mistakes – not only from others, but even from God. Instead of believing that God can use us in ministry, we continuously beat ourselves over the head for past sins. When those feelings fester, we lose confidence in ourselves and the fact that God can use us. Many times, we even pass this off as humility, but it is actually DISOBEDIENCE and a direct LACK OF FAITH in God!

Last week, God gave me a Word about faith. God is saying, as I heard a woman of God say in a sermon, “You are not what you did!” Oh, glory to God! I am so thankful we serve a forgiving God. Nevertheless, we have not yet learned to move past those things for which God has already forgiven us. When we waddle in past mistakes and allow the enemy to speak condemnation as opposed to simply receiving conviction, we hinder the purpose of God on our lives.

Well, God is exposing our sin for this very reason. Frankly, He wants us to GET OVER IT! For every area in your life where you tell others, “Don’t go there,” God is saying, “I must needs go there!” Allow me to share this revelation with you from a very familiar story – the woman at the well.

John 4 (King James Version)

1When therefore the LORD knew how the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John,
2(Though Jesus himself baptized not, but his disciples,)
3He left Judaea, and departed again into Galilee.
4And he must needs go through Samaria.
5Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.

This introduction to the story is very significant, because Jesus originally instructed his disciples NOT to go into Samaria or any other land of the Samarians (Matthew 10:5). Because of the tensions and religious differences between Jews and Gentiles, this would have been extremely dangerous, and by the view of many, a lost cause. So, it is strange that Jesus decided to take this route through a “forbidden” land. Not only that, but going this way would have added almost three days to the journey back into Galilee.

Now, Samaria is an allegory in Scripture which symbolizes sin. Isn’t it interesting that Jesus originally instructed his disciples, “Go not into the way,” but now feels “he must needs go through?” It was necessary for him to go into the place of sin in order to reconcile the lost back to God.

Hmmm. There have been places in our lives where we did not allow the presence of God – hidden places and sinful activities where we had strongholds. Our Father is going back into those places so that He can heal and reconcile those barren areas back unto Him.

Pregnancy outside of marriage…Abusive relationships…Debt…Ungodly habits – sins of your past that held a stronghold in your life must be exposed! After all, if we are still holding on the guilt of things for which we have been forgiven, the stronghold is still in place! We must be delivered and set free to do the work of the Lord! God must deal with the abuse in order to heal the marriage. He must expose the debt in order to add prosperity. He must expose the pregnancy in order to bless the seed! Glory to His name!

Saints, it’s time to get REAL with God, and allow him into the “forbidden” place. He has a work to do…through you!

6Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour.
7There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink.
8(For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.)
9Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.

My God! The word says that Jesus found Jacob’s well and rested there. He found a familiar place – a place that agreed with Him in the midst of sinful atmosphere, and He took a seat! Glory to God!

Despite your past, or even your present struggles, if you have the heart of God, the Lord can seek that place and take a seat in the midst of your mess! Jesus is the “anointed one.” Hallelujah! The anointing will minister from that place in you that is like Him, and change the sin that surrounds. My, my, my! When the spirit of God takes a seat, the room must change!!!

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus found a familiar place, took a seat, then asked for a sacrifice from the sin? Hallelujah!!! When I first received Christ, the anointing did just that! He took a seat in my heart, despite my sin and trespasses. Then, one by one, he required me to sacrifice by giving up sinful habits, cutting off ungodly relationships, and sowing into the Kingdom. Initially, my reaction was just like that of the woman at the well.

“Lord, why would you require anything of me? Why would you even speak to me, God? I’m too dirty. I’ve done this and that. I’ve disappointed you. What can you do with me? What could I possibly do for you?”

Over time, I would learn not to argue with God. Simply accept the calling on your life, and BE OBEDIENT! After all, “It’s not you,” says the Father, “but me working through you!”

Hallelujah! After all, the more mess you have, the better. Why? Because the more unlikely you are to succeed, the more glory God gets from your success!!!

10Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.
11The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water?
12Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle?
13Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:
14But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
15The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.

When we question God about our assignments, it simply says that we don’t trust him. In this portion of scripture, Jesus rebukes the woman, telling her that she should be asking Him for a drink. Even then, she still questions his authority rather than simply believing what He says.

Doesn’t this sound familiar? God says, “You’re healed.” We say we believe it, but deep down we’re thinking, “God are you bigger than the doctor’s report?” God says, “I supply all your needs.” We say, “Lord, are you able to stop my lights from being cut off? Are you really greater than this termination notice or that foreclosure hearing?”

Just as he replied to the woman, the Lord is telling us, “What you have here is temporary, but I can give you life, and that more abundantly. Even more, I can supply such that you will never need for anything.” All we have to do is ask and receive! Then, He can use us for His glory!

Why is this so hard for us to do? The answer is easy – because we feel we don’t deserve it. Well, that’s true! We don’t deserve it. Nevertheless, we have a charge to believe God’s Word, despite what we’ve done.

This is by no means an open door to sin and still expect the blessings of God. However, with a repentant heart, we live under grace and are not punished by the Law.

16Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.
17The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
18For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
19The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.

IF YOU’VE BEEN EXPOSED, PREPARE TO BE BLESSED TO BLESS!

My God, at this point Jesus asks the woman a question, which gives her an opportunity to confess her sin. Instead, she attempts to cover some of it, so Jesus calls her out.

A word of advice – CONFESS YOUR MESS! If we get open and real with God, He can deal with us without revealing our “stuff” in the open. Don’t allow God to call out your mess – just confess it and BE FREE.

The Word of God tells us to “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another…” in John 5:16. Personally, I used to have a problem with the concept of telling my faults to others, until I got this revelation – If you put your own mess out there, no one else can bring it up or hold it over your head! If you testify about how God brought you out of adultery, nobody can say, “She used to be an adulterer,” when God exalts you in the ministry. If you don’t lie about your wedding date now, nobody can figure out that you got pregnant outside of wedlock when the Lord gives you a church. Praise God!

A close friend of mine always says, “If you can confess it, you can address it!” Amen. CONFESS YOUR MESS AND GET OVER IT! Never allow the enemy to hinder your progress by bringing up your past! If you don’t call out your mess and move on, God just might reveal it just so He can prove to you and others just who He is in your life!

Confess ALL your sins to God. He already knows anyway. Then, confess your faults to men. This is your testimony.

20Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.
21Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.
22Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.
23But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
24God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

Isn’t it funny that if people can’t attack your character and your past, they move to your church or your place of worship? Many times, we concentrate more on a person's denomination or place of worship than their relationship with the Father. Glory to God! Now, this woman wants to discuss places of worship with Jesus. What does He say?

“True worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth.” Saints, we MUST know how to worship God despite the atmosphere. We need RELATIONSHIP with Him. We must know how to tap into the spirit without four church walls and an organ in the key of B-flat! It grieves my heart to know so many “ministers” of God who don’t worship Him outside of the regular Sunday service. Where is the relationship? When will we get past tradition, and learn to move in the season of God?

Saints, we MUST talk to Him. There is no relationship without conversation. Prayer is essential! We must learn to TALK and LISTEN to the Father. Hallelujah!

25The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things.
26Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he.
My God, when we build a relationship with the Father, we will recognize Him. His sheep hear His voice. Why are so many of us still relying on someone to tell us what God is saying? Don’t misunderstand – there is a place for the prophet/prophetess in the church, but why are so many running after a Word? Just ask God yourself! The Word of prophesy is for confirmation!!!
27And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her?

In verse 8, we notice that the disciples were absent during the majority of Jesus’ conversation with the woman at the well. Here, they reappear only to question (within themselves) why Jesus is talking to her. How many times have others looked on your situation and said within themselves, “Why would God call her?” People will doubt you. So, when God is exalting you in the midst of your mess, get rid of the haters! Surround yourself with exhorters and remove yourself from people who feed the spirit of doubt and condemnation. Don’t allow everyone to speak into your life! Let God be true, and every man a liar! Praise God!

28The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men,
29Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ?
30Then they went out of the city, and came unto him.

After all that took place during this encounter, these few verses emphasize the purpose of it all – a testimony! Glory to God! This woman was compelled to go and tell about her experience with the Savior, knowing that she would be ridiculed, and possibly punished. Nevertheless, no one could deny what she personally witnessed. Their curiosity was peaked. As a result, they sought Jesus for themselves.

We are called to evangelize a be a witness to the lost. Even when the lost seem to be offended or uninterested, we never know which ones go back looking for Jesus after we’d shared our testimony! Open your mouth! Jesus will draw them in thereafter…

39And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did.
40So when the Samaritans were come unto him, they besought him that he would tarry with them: and he abode there two days.
41And many more believed because of his own word;
42And said unto the woman, Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.

Oh, look at God! Now, those same people who heard the woman’s testimony have met Jesus and believed on Him for themselves. Hallelujah! It’s not all in vain!
The point here is this…

Have faith to know you can be used of God, despite your past, your circumstances and your struggles. Allow your trials, failures and embarrassments to bring glory to God. There is power in your testimony. You can't have a testimony without a test, and there is no deliverance without bondage! Don’t be concerned about what you’ve been through…

“He must needs go through” your mess that others will “know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.”

Hallelujah! Be encouraged, my sisters, and do the work of the ministry in godly faith and confidence!

Don't Worry - Build Your FAITH!

Responsibility without power leads to frustration. Unanswered frustration causes worry. Isn’t it funny how we worry about all the things we can’t change, yet neglect the things we can? Isn’t also strange that we always expect the worst, neglecting faith in God to work things out for the best?

Luke 12: 22-31
22) And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
23) The life is more than meat, and the body [is more] than raiment.
24) Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?
25) And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?
26) If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?
27) Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
28) If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more [will he clothe] you, O ye of little faith?
29) And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
30) For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
31) But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Jesus instructed His disciples not to worry about what they should wear or eat. Essentially, God knows what we need and has taken the responsibility to provide us these needs. Since God has the responsibility, we also recognize that only He has the power. Our Father is our source. The only thing we can do is follow His commandment to seek the Kingdom of God FIRST. Then, the Lord is obligated to provide all our needs!

My God! That is so powerful. God MUST fulfill His word. He cannot lie! So, why are our needs not met? Why do we still get frustrated? It must be because we’re not covering our end of the deal.

If we have any lack in our lives, it’s because we are not fully seeking God and His Kingdom. What does that mean? Prayer, fasting, Christian fellowship, Bible Study, obedience to the Word of God – these are all ways we seek Him. It seems so simple, yet it’s so difficult for us. Perhaps we lack the main ingredient in these areas – FAITH. Without faith, it’s impossible to please God! How can we truly seek His presence if we don’t please Him? Many of us attend church services faithfully. We pray regularly, study the Word, and even fast continuously. Yet, if these things are not done in FAITH, they are not pleasing to our Father. In the same manner, if we are seeking him in FAITH, doubt will not creep in. We won’t have anything to worry about, and frustration will not have a stronghold in our lives.

Glory to God! He has given us the solution. We must condition ourselves to have FAITH in God, or have the faith of God! Then, we will be at peace. As the Word of God says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Praise the Lord!

I admonish us today to work on pleasing God. We must build our faith. In order to build our faith, we seek His Kingdom. As recorded in the book of Romans, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” Seeking the Kingdom requires prayer, fasting, fellowship and studying the Scriptures. In the same manner, these things increase our faith because they expose us to the Word. The result is increased faith, which pleases the Father. It’s a huge spiritual cycle, and we must jump on board!

I am guilty of stressing over things I cannot change. I am guilty of trying to take responsibility for things over which I have no power. Today, I am reminded that I must seek God on a different level. I must build my faith through the Word of God. Won’t you join me?

All Dressed Up With No Place to Go (Part 2)

Click below to hear Part 2 of the audio message, All Dressed Up With No Place to Go

All Dressed Up With No Place to Go

Click below to hear Part 1 of the audio message, All Dressed Up With No Place to Go